May 14, 2004
Asleep At The Wheel
So let’s just recap things for a moment to get our bearings, shall we?
• • •
April 17, 2004
Bill Clinton’s Fault
Asked to explain the events of September 11, 2001, Attorney General John Ashcroft stepped up to the microphones before the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States this week to recite the Republican Party’s favorite mantra: “It was Bill Clinton’s fault.”
• • •
April 7, 2004
Holding Back The Flood
Scanning the news these past few weeks, I’ve been thinking of the story of the little Dutch boy, who tried ever so valiantly to save his town by sticking his finger in the hole in the dike that stood between his townsfolk and their certain ruin. Except, George W. Bush, who plays the role of the little Dutch boy in my imagination, knows no valor, and the only thing he’s trying to save from ruin is the awful hegemony of his mendacious administration.
• • •
March 20, 2004
Someone Has To Pay Retail
According to the secretary of defense, in an Op-Ed piece published in yesterday’s New York Times, the REAL reason for the United States’ “adventure” in Iraq (able now, finally, on the one-year anniversary of its onset, to be revealed): is that Baghdad might ­some fifty years hence- be like Seoul, Korea.
• • •
March 3, 2004
Who You Gonna Call?
I am not a bitter man. Yet. I was only born in 1960. John F. Kennedy died when I was 3, his brother Robert and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., when I was 8. Richard Nixon delivered his resignation speech to the American people the night of my 14th birthday.
• • •
February 26, 2004
Mr. Big Stuff
The hubris of George W. Bush knows no bounds. In the face of innumerable instances of his own overwhelming personal and professional defects, he knows no shame. Now he is proposing to codify the elements of marriage in the Constitution of the United States of America.
• • •
February 2, 2004
Keep Your Eye On The Bouncing Boob
NEWSFLASH: Janet Jackson has breasts!
• • •
January 29, 2004
Who Are These Guys?
Can you feel the wheels coming off? I mean, really, isn’t the ride getting a little bumpy just about now?
• • •
December 29, 2003
Watch What You Wish For
George W. Bush is going to wish he never heard of a spider hole.
• • •
December 14, 2003
One Down, But How Many More?
They finally bagged the Butcher of Baghdad. Let’s hear, once again, three cheers for the Red, White and Blue. Seriously, this is a historic event for which the brave men and women of the United States’ Armed Forces deserve the commendation of all freedom-loving people in this world, not to mention the eternal gratitude of the long-suffering citizens of Iraq.
• • •
